TeaOne Introduces All New Flavors for Midterm Season

Located on Telegraph Ave and the first floor of Eshleman Hall, TeaOne has quickly become one of the most popular boba places here in Berkeley.  Recently, TeaOne introduced a new set of seasonal flavors in recognition of midterm season, which generally lasts from the second week of class all the way until dead week.

“We’re really proud of our new products,” affirms spokesperson Jenny Lee. “We strongly believe that these flavors reflect what midterm season is all about— despair, disappointment and increasingly frequent suicidal thoughts. The new series includes Clorox Bleach Milk Tea, Adderall Apple Tea, and Tide Pod Thai Tea. And of course, you can top it all off with some leaded tapioca balls.”

The Beet was able to get an exclusive interview with second-year Haas major Derek Chou, one of the first customers who were able to try out TeaOne’s new drinks. “I got the Tide Pod Thai with leaded boba,” reports Chou. “I really like the texture of it. It retains the unique thickness and color of the Tide Pod, and I even got a little bit of the plastic Pod itself, which certainly adds to the texture of the drink. And the leaded boba goes so well with the Tide Tea. The only negative is that the leaded boba is pretty heavy so you gotta suck real hard to get it, and it doesn’t go down easily. But once you swallow it, you can actually feel your liver giving out, which is definitely the best part of the experience for me. During midterm season, I think of dying quite often, and now I can do it by drinking boba. Who wouldn’t love that idea?”

Honestly, what student wouldn’t like a big gulp of Clorox and Lead after taking two grueling midterms on the same day?  Boba enthusiasts have expressed their agreement with Chou, including the entire AFX student dance organization, as they have already pre-ordered 100 cups of Clorox tea (fatal dosage for about 43 people) for their upcoming meeting.

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