Government shuts down to advise Trump on new haircut

Three weeks ago, the U.S. federal government shut down for three days, supposedly due to Congress’s failure to decide whether or not to incorporate DACA funding into an important bill. This lack of decisiveness (and progress, and human decency) is not a surprise, as absurdity has become the new norm…


Thanksgiving turkey would rather die than be pardoned by Trump

The White House tradition of pardoning a turkey every Thanksgiving has come to a screeching halt with a bold  declaration from this year’s designated bird. “I refuse to bear the indignity of it,” he reportedly gobbled while discussing the idea of being pardoned by President Trump. “I mean, the guy also…


Berkeley College Republicans President challenges his secretary to an IQ test

In the wake of his alleged impeachment by BCR secretary Bradley Devlin, BCR’s disputed president Troy Worden has made a bold statement against his backstabbing ouster. Following in the steps of Worden’s lord and savior, President Trump, he challenged Devlin to the ultimate test of political capability- an IQ test….