Thanksgiving

Satire

Thanksgiving turkey would rather die than be pardoned by Trump

The White House tradition of pardoning a turkey every Thanksgiving has come to a screeching halt with a bold  declaration from this year’s designated bird. “I refuse to bear the indignity of it,” he reportedly gobbled while discussing the idea of being pardoned by President Trump. “I mean, the guy also…

Satire

Chem Major to spend Thanksgiving Break in hibernation

Chem Major to spend Thanksgiving Break in hibernation and avoid seeing people As Dustin Tau traveled back to his home in Southern California on Wednesday Night, he revealed his plans to simply lock himself in his room and hibernate, doing his best to avoid as much human contact as physically possible,…