Student relieved that having Parents over for Homecoming Week means not having to cook

Posters that college students who cook for themselves probably hang on their wall

Last month, Sharon’s McLaren’s parents called to say that they were planning to visit her during Homecoming Weekend. While Mrs. McLaren expected her daughter to be embarrassed at the idea of her coming over to visit; to her surprise, Sharon sounded cheerful at the prospect. Though Sharon wasn’t too keen on introducing her stoner roommates to her parents, she was relieved that for the first time since coming to Berkeley she wouldn’t have to cook, or eat Chipotle for the fourth time that week.

After Sharon’s parents took her out to San Francisco to eat after the game, they watched with equal measures horror and fascination as their daughter finished devouring the appetizers before the waiter could set the plate down on the table. When the 32 oz Porterhouse steak was set before her ten minutes later, Sharon was more than 2/3rds of the way into it when she remembered that people used knives and forks when they ate.

Apparently, Sharon had been using plastic utensils ‘borrowed’ from the GBC in lieu of actual cutlery for her apartment, and subsisting on a diet of instant noodles and Chipotle for a majority of her time here at Cal. She even drew the attention of Berkeley sociologists who had designated her as a prime example of the average dietary habits of college students that had been left to fend for themselves.

After the meal was over, Sharon let out a belch and sat back in her chair contentedly rubbing her stomach, before remembering that they were in a restaurant that was not Thai House, and such behavior was deemed “unseemly”. They eventually left the room with an armload of doggy bags before Mr. and Mrs. McLaren took their daughter shopping, which is apparently something that Sharon had been meaning to do but had kept putting off.

As they left for the long drive back home, Mrs. McLaren was touched to hear that their daughter “was going to miss them” and was “especially looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with them… and the turkey.”

About the author

Burr K. Lee

Burr K. Lee is a Berkeley student that enjoys using satire to draw issues to attention on campus. During his spare time, Lee enjoys working as a Burr-lesque dancer.