Berkeley Squirrel officially tired of eating Dining Hall Food

Photo Credit: NibbieKat because we can't afford a photographer.

Local Squirrel grows tired of eating Dining Hall Food

Yesterday evening, it was reported that local resident Shamu the Squirrel had officially grown tired of eating dining hall food.

Shamu (more commonly referred to as Mu by his friends in Squirelish) had been eating at Crossroads once again that week, finally declared his resentment towards dining hall food when he noticed that they were once again serving tilapia. “This is Nuts!” Mu is reported to have said, before storming out of the dining hall in a huff.

While the food in the dining halls in Berkeley has never been outright described as terrible; much like Oski’s choice of wardrobe and Math 54 lectures, the food at the dining halls can be a little bland.

While the food in the dining halls in Berkeley has never been outright described as terrible; much like Oski’s choice of wardrobe and Math 54 lectures, the food at the dining halls can be a little bland.

According to noted UC Berkeley food historian Professor Pete Za, it wasn’t always like this. Originally, all the UC Berkeley’s dining halls were all clustered together in a single location around where Crossroads is today.

But when Foothill, the Zayn Malik of the group, decided that it wanted to take a break, it signaled the end of what is known as The Golden Era of Dining Halls, thus leading to the four separate dining halls that we have today. And while the quality of food at establishments such as Clark Kerr has gone in 1 Direction, the quality at other dining halls has deteriorated somewhat.

But while, the food served during the day time has remained spectacularly subpar, late night food has remained relatively decent, becoming  a place where the otherwise outlawed fried chicken strips have made an appearance much in the same way that alcohol appears in a speakeasy.

It has been reported that Mu plans to hibernate during most of the day and spend his nights at Crossroads indulging in chicken quesadillas.

 

About the author

Burr K. Lee

Burr K. Lee is a Berkeley student that enjoys using satire to draw issues to attention on campus. During his spare time, Lee enjoys working as a Burr-lesque dancer.