Satire

Reality Show 8 to a Room to be filmed in Berkeley

As part of its fall lineup, Fox News announced today that it had acquired the rights to the reality show “8 to a Room” which is set to start filming in Berkeley. Because of the extreme lack of housing in the Bay Area, students and residents alike have taken to…

Satire

4. 0 Earthquake admitted to Berkeley despite having few extracurriculars

Berkeley, CA. At 7 AM this morning, it was reported that local residents were woken up by the sounds of a 4.0 earthquake arriving in the Bay Area. While local resident Ashley Chang heard the noise, she thought the neighbors were going at it a little too loudly again, but…

Satire

Tensions rise as parents passive aggressively hint that it’s time to start packing

         Local Southern California Parents worried because their son has yet to pack with one week left until school starts. One week before school is set to start, tensions are reportedly high in the Lee household as Hudson’s parents Bob and Teresa are expressing anxiety over their…

Satire

UCB Students to launch Uber competitor UBear using real bears

On Thursday it was announced that a team from UC Berkeley had successfully secured its first round of seed funding for its product “UBear”. As UC Berkeley is located in the Silicon Valley, many of its students are focused on entrepreneurial ventures in the hopes of creating the next “unicorn”….

Satire

Berkeley Students Without Housing Pretty Much Screwed At This Point

With students staying up 24/7 to watch the Housing page on the UC Berkeley FB group, students without confirmed housing for the school year are starting to feel the pinch. With less than two weeks until the fall semester at UC Berkeley is slated to begin, it has been determined…

Satire

Giant Phallic Symbol serves as UC Berkeley’s Most Popular Attraction

Giant Phallic Looking object towers over the rest of campus                    Berkeley. It is a college that harbors some of America’s best and brightest minds as well as a smattering of semi-prominent landmarks. Built in March 23rd, 1868, the campus of Berkeley…

Satire

UC Berkeley to house students in tents on Memorial Glade as part of new student housing initiative

School to put up tents to accommodate more students as part of UC Berkeley student housing initiative Though it may come as a shock to incoming freshmen, it’s no secret to Berkeley students that housing in Berkeley is terrible. UC Berkeley is reportedly one of the few colleges in the world…