Search Results: berkeley

Satire

Student relieved that having Parents over for Homecoming Week means not having to cook

Last month, Sharon’s McLaren’s parents called to say that they were planning to visit her during Homecoming Weekend. While Mrs. McLaren expected her daughter to be embarrassed at the idea of her coming over to visit; to her surprise, Sharon sounded cheerful at the prospect. Though Sharon wasn’t too keen…

Satire

CS Major using Airbears 2 Internet Outage as Metaphor for Life

CS Major using Airbears 2 Outage as Metaphor for Life             Following Friday Night’s campuswide Airbears 2 Internet Outage, it was reported that the campus of UC Berkeley had fallen into equal parts chaos and listlessness with a majority of those living in the student dorms moving their thumbs in…

Satire

University to begin offering Instant Noodle Meal Plan

The Meal Plan is reportedly directed at students who can’t cook. (If your friend shared this article with you, chances are that that’s you) Susan Kwon was having a problem. At the age of 19, she still was having a problem with learning how to cook. Though Kwon was already…

Satire

Prof making 250k “asks” students to buy $200 textbook he wrote

Professor making $250,000 in tenured salary, asking students to buy $200 textbook he wrote in order to supplement salary. While many freshmen have already bought their textbooks from the student book store in an eager attempt to show off their preparedness and impress their professors, many of the upperclassmen have…

Satire

Mech Engineering Major that had all Summer to unpack now leaving for Fall Semester

Recently it was reported that Aaron Smithers, a junior Mechanical Engineering major at Cal, caused a mild scandal when he chose to park his butt in front of his computer all summer rather than unpacking his luggage. His parents are understandably distraught as while most Cal students have now begun leaving…

Satire

Tensions rise as parents passive aggressively hint that it’s time to start packing

         Local Southern California Parents worried because their son has yet to pack with one week left until school starts. One week before school is set to start, tensions are reportedly high in the Lee household as Hudson’s parents Bob and Teresa are expressing anxiety over their…

Satire

UCB Students to launch Uber competitor UBear using real bears

On Thursday it was announced that a team from UC Berkeley had successfully secured its first round of seed funding for its product “UBear”. As UC Berkeley is located in the Silicon Valley, many of its students are focused on entrepreneurial ventures in the hopes of creating the next “unicorn”….

About

Berkeley is a great place. Seriously. But it has issues. The goal of our publication is simple. We aim to use satire and humor to draw attention to the issues facing the residents and students of Berkeley, and maybe have a laugh or two along the way. Chances are, at…