Giant Phallic Symbol serves as UC Berkeley’s Most Popular Attraction

Photo Cred: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Almonroth

Giant Phallic Looking object towers over the rest of campus


 

                 Berkeley. It is a college that harbors some of America’s best and brightest minds as well as a smattering of semi-prominent landmarks. Built in March 23rd, 1868, the campus of Berkeley have fallen into a category that scientists are calling “old as balls”.

             And with any campus that is old as balls there usually is always an accompanying phallic symbol. For Berkeley, that would be the famed Campanile.
Erected in 1915, Berkeley’s Campanile has been a solid stable of Berkeley for almost a hundred years. Each night before Berkeley goes to sleep, students can bear witness to the majestic sight of the Campanile shooting its milky white light into the night sky.

            Though it may seem like the campanile is the largest and longest clock and bell tower in the world, it is in fact only the third largest. Nevertheless, it 307 feet, it is undeniable that the Campanile is a pretty big clock.
Though going up to the Campanile is free for those students with a Cal ID, it will cost other visitors three dollars to ride the elevator to reach the top of the statue. While the smooth ride up to the top isn’t as long as people seem to make it out to be, they are often comforted by the notion that “it’s not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean.”

When asked her feelings about the fabled clock tower, sorority sister Annabel Vanna said “When I first came to Berkeley, I was impressed by the size of the Campanile. When considering the size of various clock towers, most girls are concerned with size, however I was also really impressed with its girth.” Another freshmen, Lucy Parmagino stated that “It’s a lot more interesting than the towers in my home country of Italy. The towers over there tend to lean to the right a little bit.”

About the author

Burr K. Lee

Burr K. Lee is a Berkeley student that enjoys using satire to draw issues to attention on campus. During his spare time, Lee enjoys working as a Burr-lesque dancer.