Articles by Stephanie Cervantez

Satire

CS Major Newly Employed at Google tells English Major to Follow her Dreams

English major Paige Turner was allegedly nearly shocked into a coma last Wednesday when she was told by her friend in computer science, Tanisha Castillo, to follow her dreams. Castillo had been reportedly offered a job at Google only minutes before the incident, and had gleefully run to tell Turner…

Satire

California Drought Resurgence Traced to Moffitt Toilets

Californians rejoiced mid January as positive news finally broke in regards to the five year drought, with the United States Geological Survey claiming that the worst is finally over and that EECS majors no longer have an excuse for not showering. Though the immediate danger has passed, the USGS claims…