Articles by Tatiana Su

Satire

Greek system respects consent when it’s not Halloween

Though Halloween is usually an extremely anticipated holiday among Berkeley students, this year’s spooky festivities were threatened by some alarming circumstances. Due to recent sexual assaults, which seem to be a popular pastime among certain fraternities, the Cal Greek system shut down all their social activities until members could learn…

Satire

Crime Rate in Berkeley Increasing Faster than Student Debt

At this point in the fall semester, morale is low and tensions are high as Berkeley students flounder about the murky depths of midterm season, all the while surreptitiously eyeing the “cancel registration” button on Cal Central. Though midterm season regularly robs students of self esteem and assaults them with…

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We’re Hiring!

Are you tired of scrolling through Beet articles only to find tedious rants on society littered with sporadic crappy jokes? Do you find yourself automatically drifting into a deep slumber as soon as you click on an article? Well maybe you could stop silently judging and actually help us out,…

Satire

Graduation: It all goes downhill from here

As the momentary joy of graduation fades away, there remains one despairing question on every Berkeley graduate’s mind: Now what? It’s been a couple of days since the class of 2016 sat through their grueling four hour graduation ceremony in the sun, unsure of whether the streams of water running…

Satire

Berkeley student fits entire Crossroads salad bar into backpack

UCB students puts Salad Bar into Backpack Pocketing a couple pieces of fruit or even an entire Tupperware container of quinoa is a common habit for students eating at Crossroads Dining Commons. However, grocery shopping at Crossroads was taken to a new extreme this week when first year Econ major…