October 2017

Satire

Berkeley College Republicans President challenges his secretary to an IQ test

In the wake of his alleged impeachment by BCR secretary Bradley Devlin, BCR’s disputed president Troy Worden has made a bold statement against his backstabbing ouster. Following in the steps of Worden’s lord and savior, President Trump, he challenged Devlin to the ultimate test of political capability- an IQ test….

Satire

Hero student adds frame to Facebook profile picture, single handedly ends racism

 In the face of an increasingly racist and bigoted society, one student activist has decided to risk everything in her fight for social justice. UC Berkeley junior Tessa White recently made a bold statement by adding a frame to her Facebook profile picture. The powerful words “Stand Against Racism,” emblazoned…

Satire

Six weeks in, freshman start to set achievable goals

From exceptionally smelly roommates to the pedobear mascot, there is a plethora of things for a Berkeley freshman to complain about. Although issues such as screeching vegans and alt-right bigots were to be expected, most freshman were unprepared for the shock that is the grueling Cal academia. Though this year’s…