November 2016

Satire

Its Just a Game After All

On a Saturday afternoon when even the gods themselves were weeping for Cal’s soon inevitable loss, thousands of poncho-clad Bears rolled into California memorial stadium, hoping to win back the Stanford Axe. The Cal students in attendance wanted the axe not only to feel better about getting rejected from Stanford,…

Satire

Abstinence on Tuesday

She looked incredible in her yoga pants and tight pink tank-top, a flirtatious outfit that left little to the imagination. “Are you ready?” I whispered into her ear, running my fingers slowly down her arm. She lay on her back, ready to take whatever I gave her. “Yeah, give it…

Satire

Student Organization Planning to Profit Off Right-Wing Outrage

After a few weeks of protests, Berkeley’s administration has finally relented and given the much coveted Student Store space to Bridges, a coalition of seven student organizations aimed at recruiting and retaining underrepresented students. They were offered dozens of other spaces on campus, but they decided to decline all offers…