January 2016

Satire

Student makes 4-day journey from campus to Clark Kerr in record 2 ½ days

Local student becomes celebrated hero after making long and arduous journey back to Clark Kerr On Wednesday, as local UC Berkeley student Jason Bronman completed his 2 ½ day journey from campus to Clark Kerr, he managed to make it through the doorway of his dorm before collapsing on his bed….

Satire

Student optimistically believes he can handle 8 AM classes

2 months ago, as sophomore Brian Alger was signing up for classes, he checked his schedule only to find out that he was required to take a chemistry lab which would be taking place at 8 AM. Though it had been almost two years since Alger had woken up at…